An Insight Into The Complicated World Of Sirius Black
by weasleys wizard wheezes2012
Summary: All Sirius could remember was anger and sadness caused by his brothers words and then the sound of his echoes running throughout the long cold and deserted halls of Hogwarts But then Lily Evans finds him Slumped in a deserted part of Hogwarts and she started asking him question which revealed the true side of Sirius Orion Black… (No Slash)


**All Sirius could remember was anger and sadness caused by his brothers words and then the sound of his echoes running throughout the long cold and deserted halls of Hogwarts But then Lily Evans finds him Slumped in a deserted part of Hogwarts and she started asking him question which revealed the true side of Sirius Orion Black… (No Slash)**

He sighed "Rage is a funny thing to me, lily…" He breathed in deeply trying to clear his head of the angry blood boiling thoughts that seemed to be engulfing his mind. "I Guess I get it from the inbred evil dark arts obeying monsters I call my family- first I'm sad and then I become.. furious" He said haughtily turning his angular features in her direction.

"The one problem Sirius that you have. that one thing that always aggravates people more when you annoy them is that arrogant and noble look you give people in anger" She Moves toward him slowly and smiles.

"That's just me" He state loftily "if they don't like it they can get stuffed" Sirius says punching the wall in anger. "Shit" He says drawing his hand back.

Lily heard his knuckle crack and sees the tiny droplets of blood left on the wall where his hand was moments before. She sits next to him. "Can I see?" She says soothingly.

He stares at her uncertainly and slowly hands her his blood covered fist.

She examines it closely "You must have caught it on the wall" She Remarks "It's going to be swollen for the next couple of days" She looks up and sees Sirius leaning against the wall, a silent tear running down his angular cheek bone. She sees a young man scared and confused, one that is a mere fragment of the cocky arrogant boy she knows. She finally sees the real Sirius Black- A complicated boy one that is lonely, scared and right now looks so naïve and for the first time she pities him.

She leans against him and puts her arm around him in comfort; she feels his muscular body tightens and- was that a slight flinch!? And then she then feels him relax. "What happened...? Surely it wasn't that bad?" she asks carefully.

He puts his head in his hands and pushes his long unruly black hair out of his eyes. She sees his face contract as the boy holds back his tears; he regains his composure slightly "They think I don't have feelings-"He sniffles slightly and continues "He's Sirius Black, the arrogant, loud boisterous prat that is void of all emotions. He doesn't care he needs something to flatten his ego" he says angrily. "I can take it from them those snake like little gits, the anonymous ones- the ones I don't care about…" he gets up angrily and paces quickly in front of her almost violently.

"Clam down Sirius!" She says worriedly. She had never seen him like this before he is distraught lost in his own little world.

He slows down slightly "th- then Regulus Joins in…"

"I didn't think you were close?" Lily asks dumbfounded by why Sirius was so distraught over his little brother, the one that seems obsessed with the dark arts and entwined with all the wrong people in this dark world.

"Were not. Not anymore at least." He stops his frantic pacing abruptly and looks at her, deep into her emerald eyes grateful for her calming presence. "I'm sorry, I'm going on and on" He mumbles.

"It's okay. You're not carry on" She half smiles and pats Sirius' vacated spot, He sits slowly and continues.

"We Were extremely close when growing up believe it or not. We never particularly shared the same interests, but I always tried to look out for him make sure he was never on the receiving end of mothers furious tongue and fathers belt. I had a few rows for him and took a few blows" He pauses for breath.

"Sirius I never thought your parents were like that with you and him… I misjudged you I'm sor-"

Sirius stops her "Don't apologise" He mumbles. He takes a shaky breath and carries on "We were always inseparable but they always believed that Regulus was perfect, that Regulus would never disappoints his parents because of that. But I constantly did always disappointing them."

"You don't have to tell me this Sirius" Lily says sadly

"I want to- I need to tell someone." He watches her nod slowly he continues "They hated me, they hated the fact that Regulus looked up at me, the disappointment of the family. The outcast. That one stain they could never remove. When I left for Hogwarts they brain washed him in to hating me and I- I lost him Lily"

"It's okay" She Says and rubs his back comfortingly.

"Sometimes I desperately wish I were like Regulus, My brother. As a Black does, Regulus is a Muggle-hating Pureblood socialite who has impressed my parents all through Hogwarts So far as a model Slytherin student- and sometimes I wish I was that Just to fit in to my family, to have somewhere to call home so I can feel normal and not such an outcast with my own blood. But I know I am not a black, But that breaks my heart sometimes Lily…. I find myself going so far from what a respectable Black family member should and would be expected to do that when I take a step back and actually look at myself, I feel completely ashamed. Although I insist to James, Remus and Peter that I don't care, but can you see why I do? I am so far away from them that it hurts"

Lily looks at him and notices his still slightly boyish features while she waits for him to continue.

"I have no idea who I am, who I want to be and Reg reminded me of all this I blocked out from my so called perfect world in Hogwarts. Not knowing who I am and not being able to go to him or anyone else scares me Lily…"

"Sirius I would love to say that it will be fine but I can't- I don't think anyone can. I'm sorry but I have to go I have a prefect meeting… I'm sorry; you can speak to me any time Sirius remember that."

With that Lily Evans is gone, but she leaves with a closer understanding of the eccentric, loud, boisterous, and handsome Sirius Black. She saw beneath his mask and finally understood him.

The only thing Sirius Orion Black wanted more than anything is to figure out who he is.

**Please review, I'm not sure about the way lily comes across in this story? I will give you cookies;)**


End file.
